It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
