I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
