2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
