apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
