who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
