the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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