And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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