She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
