we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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