Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
