I heard we made out
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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