shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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