I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
well you can't waste a boner
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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