Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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