In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
