Heybabeimwearingurpanties
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
