so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
