Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
