do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
