Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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