Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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