Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
