he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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