Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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