My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize