i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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