lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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