she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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