Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Randomize
