When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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