you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
