So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
