She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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