I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
