i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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