So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
