She's JV to your varsity
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize