bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
