I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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