2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
