If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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