Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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