I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
