Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This baby is an asshole
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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