Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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