The maid of honor just puked.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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