The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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