The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
