I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
