we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize