I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
