Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
