Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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