Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
