I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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