but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
