Can Purell be used as lube?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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