Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
