good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
