Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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