The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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