i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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